What to Say (and Not to Say) After Your Child’s Therapy Session

Sep 8

Why These Moments Matter

When your child steps out of therapy, you might feel curious, anxious, or even a little unsure about what to say. Parents often want to know what happened in the session, whether their child shared openly, or if the therapist is “getting through.” These reactions are natural, but the way you handle the moments after therapy can have a big impact on your child’s comfort and willingness to engage in the process.

This isn’t about saying the “perfect” thing; it’s about creating safety, connection, and trust. When children feel they can set the pace for sharing, they are more likely to benefit from therapy and build a stronger relationship with both you and their therapist.

Why Kids May Not Want to Share Right Away

Child therapy, especially for younger children often involves a lot of play-based strategies. Younger children sometimes don’t know what to share, because they may feel like they just “played” with their therapist all session. For older children and teens, therapy can often be emotionally intense. A child may leave feeling tired, reflective, or even unsettled. Sometimes they need space to process before they are ready to talk. Other times, they may not know how to put their feelings into words.

Remember: therapy is your child’s space. They deserve privacy and the freedom to decide when and how much to share. By respecting this, you show them that you trust their process.

Things You Can Say to Support your Child

The best approach is to keep it simple, gentle, and open-ended. Instead of fishing for details, focus on being available and interested without pressure. Here are some examples:

“I’m glad you went today. Do you want to do something together now?”
“How are you feeling right now?”
“If there’s anything you want to share later, I’m here to listen.”
“Was there anything that felt helpful for you today?”
“Would you like some quiet time, or would you rather hang out together?”

These statements offer choice, give space, and emphasize your role as a steady support.

What to Avoid Asking

Parents often unintentionally make their child feel pressured by asking too many direct questions. It is best to avoid:

“What did you talk about?”
“Did you tell them about [specific issue]?”
“Did your therapist tell you to do [specific next step]?”
“Why didn’t you tell them about…?”

These questions can make therapy feel like a test or interrogation, instead of a safe space for the child. Therapy is most effective when children feel free to explore at their own pace without worrying about reporting back.

Activities to Build Connection After Therapy

Sometimes the best way to support your child is through gentle presence rather than words. Shared activities can provide a natural opportunity for your child to talk, if they want to. Try:

Taking a walk or bike ride together
Sharing a snack or meal
Listening to music they like on the drive home
Doing a puzzle, craft, or Lego build side by side
Playing a favourite game or reading together
Sitting in quiet companionship

These moments of connection communicate: “I’m here with you, no matter what.”

Reading Your Child’s Cues

Pay attention to your child’s nonverbal signals after a session. You might notice they are quieter than usual, more playful, or irritable. Instead of reacting with worry, try to read these cues as information about what they need.

If they are withdrawn, they may need space.
If they are restless, physical activity might help regulate.
If they are chatty, they may be testing whether you’re open to listening.

Respond with flexibility and calm. Your ability to tune in without judgment builds trust.

Supporting the Ongoing Process

Therapy is not just about the one-hour session each week. It is also about how parents and caregivers support growth between sessions. By respecting your child’s pace, avoiding interrogation, and creating everyday moments of connection, you reinforce the work they are doing in therapy.

Think of yourself as a guide and companion: you do not have to know every detail, but your presence and support make all the difference.

It can be hard not to know exactly what happens during your child’s therapy session, but your role is powerful. By offering gentle curiosity, shared moments, and unconditional support, you are helping your child feel safe enough to heal and grow.

Thinking About Therapy for Your Child?

At Stillpoint Psychology, we work closely with children, teens, and families to support emotional well-being and connection. Our approach is evidence-based, neuroaffirming, and grounded in compassion. If you are wondering whether therapy might help your child or if you want support in your parenting journey, we are here to walk alongside you.

Natalia Manay