How to Talk to Your Child About Starting Therapy
Talking to your child about starting therapy can feel intimidating. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or making them anxious. Many parents feel this way. The good news is that there are simple, gentle ways to introduce therapy that help your child feel safe, understood, and supported.
This guide offers practical tips, child friendly language, and ideas for preparing your child for their first session.
Why This Conversation Matters
The way you introduce therapy sets the tone for how your child will feel about it. When kids know what to expect and understand that therapy is a place for support and learning, they are more likely to enter the process with openness and curiosity. Even if your child feels nervous at first, a clear and calm explanation can make a big difference.
Start With the Purpose: Why Therapy Helps
Kids don’t need a long explanation about mental health. What they need is reassurance that therapy is meant to help them feel better, understand their feelings, and learn tools that make life easier.
You might say:
“Therapy is a place where you can talk, play, and learn about your feelings.”
“Your therapist is someone who helps kids with hard thoughts or tricky moments.”
“Everyone needs support sometimes, and this is one of the ways to get support.”
The focus is on support, not on fixing something that is wrong with them.
Supporting Your Own Emotions Before the Conversation
Before talking to your child about therapy, it can help to take a moment to check in with your own feelings. Kids pick up on tone, facial expression, and energy even more than the exact words you use. If you feel nervous, worried, or unsure, your child may sense that something is wrong. You do not need to feel perfectly calm before having the conversation, but grounding yourself, speaking gently, and using a steady tone can help your child feel safe. A confident, relaxed approach signals to them that therapy is a normal and supportive part of caring for their wellbeing.
Adjust Your Language Based on Age
Children of different ages need different explanations. Here is a simple way to approach each group.
Young children (ages 3 to 6): Keep it short and concrete.
“Therapy is a place where you can play and talk with someone who helps kids feel better.”
School age kids (ages 7 to 11): Give a bit more detail.
“Therapy is a place where you can talk about feelings, learn ways to handle hard moments, and have someone on your team.”
Teens: Be collaborative.
“Therapy gives you a place to talk to someone who is on your side. You get to decide what you want support with.” Teens often appreciate feeling respected and included in decisions.
Simple, Reassuring Phrases You Can Use
Sometimes parents freeze because they do not know what to say. Here are some child friendly scripts that can help you feel more prepared:
“Your therapist is like a coach for feelings.”
“Therapy is a safe place where you can be yourself.”
“You do not have to know what to talk about. Your therapist will help you.”
“Some kids talk a lot. Some kids play more. Both are okay.”
Avoid language that implies something is wrong with them. Focus instead on support and learning.
Normalize Therapy as a Helpful Resource
Let your child know that therapy is something many kids do when life feels confusing or hard. You can say: “Lots of kids see therapists. It’s one way of getting help with big feelings or when dealing with hard things, just like going to school helps you learn new things.”
Normalizing therapy reduces shame and makes it easier for your child to accept support.
Common Questions Kids Ask and How to Respond
“Am I in trouble?” “No. You are not in trouble. Therapy is not a punishment. It is a place to help you feel better.”
“Do I have to tell them everything?” “No. You can share at your own pace. Your therapist wants you to feel comfortable.”
“Can I tell them about…?” “Yes, you don’t have to hide this from your therapist. They’re there to support you and they keep the things you tell them private”
“Will you stay with me?” Explain honestly based on the therapist’s approach. “You and I will talk together at the beginning, then you will have time alone with the therapist. I will be close by.”
“What if I do not like it?” “You can tell me how it feels after the first session and we will figure it out together.”
What Not to Say
Parents never mean harm, but certain phrases can create anxiety. Try to avoid:
“The therapist will help you behave better.”
“You need help so we are taking you to therapy.”
“You have to tell them everything.”
“You need to stop doing that so we got you a therapist.”
These can feel blaming or scary. Therapy should feel like support, not a correction.
Prepare Your Child for the First Session
Kids feel safer when they know what to expect. You might say:
“You will meet someone whose job is to help kids.”
“Their office has toys, games, and comfortable places to sit.”
“You can ask for breaks or tell them if something feels uncomfortable.”
Let them know that the first session is mostly about getting to know each other. You can also reach out to the therapist and ask what to expect before the first session so you can tell your child exactly what it will be like.
If Your Child Seems Nervous or Resistant
This is very common. Gently validate their feelings.
“It makes sense that you feel unsure. Trying something new can feel strange at first.”
“We will go together and see how it feels. You can tell me what you think afterward.”
“You don’t have to decide today. We will take this one step at a time.”
Avoid forcing them. Gentle encouragement works better than pressure.
Reassure Them That They Can Share Their Feelings About Therapy
Your child needs to know that their comfort matters.
You can say:
“You can always tell me or your therapist if something feels weird or confusing.”
“You get to have a voice in this. We are learning what works for you.”
Parents are not stuck with a therapist if the fit does not feel right. A good therapist welcomes feedback, listens with care, and adjusts their approach to help your child feel supported.
How It Works at Stillpoint Psychology
At Stillpoint Psychology, we work hard to make therapy a safe, warm experience for children and families. We start by learning about your child’s strengths, needs, and what helps them feel comfortable. Sessions include a mix of conversation, play, and emotion based tools designed to help kids understand and manage their feelings.
We also keep parents involved in a supportive, respectful way. If your child feels nervous or uncertain, we work with you to ease the transition and build trust. Families are never stuck. If something is not working, we adjust, collaborate, and explore what your child needs to feel safe.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you are in Toronto or Ontario and want support preparing your child for therapy or want to learn more about our child centered approach, we are here to help. Reach out here to connect with our team.
